Love, Family & Football : ...being spontaneous or just love sick...

So last week was a pretty tough week. For some reason, the world (the hospitality world to be exact) decided to gang up on me on my first week without my husband. Seriously. And the hardest day for me was Thursday. I swear it was one of the hardest work days ever. I just felt like everything was going wrong and it just wouldn't stop. It started the moment I clocked in... up until the minute I got home! Not kidding. Not to mention I worked all day AND had a work party that evening... things still went wrong even during the party. I just gave in and left early. Even on the way home... I hit every single red light in Salt Lake! Ugh! It just wasn't a good day at all. That night I vented, and maybe cried a little, to Matt about my work day and then everything else just started to come out. All the venting lead me to believe that I was neglecting the kids that week. Now that I think about it, I think I was just too overwhelmed with work that I felt like that was all I was doing... so I guess I just talked myself into thinking that I wasn't being a great Mom that week on top of all that. Yea, something I'm working on. Don't think I'm crazy.......... I swear I'm not :) But after talking about the kids, Matt and I decided that I would stay with the kids this weekend instead of our original plan of possibly flying out there to see him.

Come Friday, I tried to go into work with a better attitude... but really I just wanted to get my hours in and leave. I just couldn't wait for the weekend! Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I would honestly say that I am good at what I do... I was just having one of those weeks. By the time I got off, I planned to just hang out at my parents' house with the kids and just be with my family. Any time I'm feeling stressed or just want to clear my mind... I usually just hang out there with my siblings and laugh at nothing like we always do. We did end up there after work... but after talking with my sisters and my mom... I decided to go!! I planned to take Shawnee with me and have the other two stay. I did hesitate after my long night of venting... but then I figured... why torture myself more?!

...and you know what... I don't regret it one bit. I had the best time! And we didn't even do anything! Matt has his own place out there and some family which equals very good company! We got in late Friday night, picked up some Jack in the Box on our way home and watched tv all night with Shawnee. I think we even fell asleep early! Saturday morning Matt had to leave... Shawnee and I slept in up until he got home. Then we went to lunch and hung out at his family's house the rest of the day. It was great! I seriously had not one worry in my body the whole time I was there. I did of course think of Nana and Fatboy but I trust my family 110% and knew that there was nothing to worry about... so I didn't.

The whole time we were there... I just kept thinking... "Can I just move here for the next two months? Not worry about anything while I'm out here?!?" Then I had to bring myself down and slap myself out of it. Yes, slap! Leaving him Sunday night was really hard... not as hard as my dramatic good-bye the previous Sunday... but it was pretty sad.

This week things are going a lot better than last week... but..... I'm thinking of going back this weekend.... hahahahahaha.... crazy right? But this time I want to take all of the kids with me. It's killing Matt that he hasn't seen them this long. We skype every night and sometimes even leave the skype up just so he can watch them do nothing. It would be nice to go this weekend... but let's face it... it's so not ideal for us to fly out there every weekend. He was suppose to come back one weekend but after his first week, he figured out that they have training on Saturdays too. They don't mess around apparently.

So, we'll see how things go the rest of the week. But I guess we can say "so far, so good". We just can't wait for this part to be over. I know, it's crazy because this might seem like a big deal now... all this time apart... but I guess there's more "away time" in store for us... but again... we can't complain! This is what we're signing up for, right?!? I have been missing the company though... I know I'm lucky to even have him but I now realize that it's the little things that I miss the most. The nights he kept me up with his snoring... packing bags in the morning just to turn around and see that he was already on his way out loading it into the car... the middle-of-the-night foot locks... the hugs while I wash the dishes... his entertaining dance moves... Okay, I'm done.