Thursday, September 08, 2011

...dear janelle...

I still can't believe it. I can't even explain how I feel.
How I've been feeling since.
Non stop emotions just running through my head.
About you, your family, my family, my husband... everything.

I came into work Friday morning after my usual morning routine.
As soon as I got in, a co-worker had to break the news.
Not yours, but someone else's.
One of our collegues had just gotten a call from her brother.
His daughter had commited suicide the night before.
I think she was only 18.
It made me think of when my cousin Gary did the same thing.
I just sat there and thought about it. Eyes filling up, but not crying.

Not even ten minutes later, my sister asked if I heard the news.
"About Nancy? Yea."
"Nancy? No, Ron."
"Yea...his wife passed away. Just last night."
"Yea... Ron and Janelle...?"

Right when she said your name my heart dropped and sunk down to my stomach.
Janelle? Are you sure? How? The game? OMG. Ron.
I sat in my office and cried all morning.
I just couldn't hold it in.
I texted Matt right away and told him what happened.
We both couldn't believe it.
That's so sad. We actually knew her.

I seriously felt as if I had just lost my best friend.
Which of course you would laugh at because we haven't been close at all since high school.
But even in high school... we didn't spend that much time together.
I think we were close friends right around the time you started dating Ron remember?
I remember we talked for like almost two hours about your night you had after your prom date with him.
Some pretty juicy stuff if I remember right! Haha.
Remember that week we were so excited about the new crimper?
We both came to school with the same spot burnt off!
OMG that was hilarious.
The girls were tagging pictures from high school the other day.
So not the business.
You guys and your Pink Ladies... I was too cool LOL
Remember that summer you tried to help me
get on the volleyball team...
Yea, your "moms" didn't like me much. Ha!
How bout all those letters we use to write in between classes!
OMG those were the days.
Even Jenise and I would write letters too.
Even if we were in the same class together! LOL

I didn't even know you were into blogging!
I just found your blog the other day.
I think everyone knew Ron was a clown but now everyone
knows he does have a "cupcak'in" side.

I had no idea you guys waited that long to get married either!
Gosh, I guess we really did have a lot to catch up on.
Maybe if we hadn't taken our kids to Vegas for the bowlgame
that year we could've been more apart of the couples group. 
But I'm glad you met Adrian during that time.
It sounds like you guys have gotten pretty close since.

After reading everyones posts to you...
you really did hold a special place in everyones hearts.
It is definitely a sad time for a lot of us here on earth.
But we both know that you're in a much better place...
building your eternal home for you, your husband, your parents, siblings, nieces and nephews.
Sounds like you're not alone either.

I'm glad we crossed paths in this life
and I look forward to seeing you again in the next.
If you see a line of babies waiting to come down... pick one for me.
Okay don't get any ideas...
I'm not pregant now but maybe in a year or two.
But when it happens, I won't forget to ask them if they saw you :)



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