Ugh... just when you think things are getting better... you have that one day when it hits you and you just break down. That would be.... well, I think that was Wednesday night. Oh, and Friday night. And last night... and maybe tonight again.
Things are going well for him out there so far. I think today, being Sunday and not having practice and stuff, it really hit him. He misses us. More than usual. It's hard seeing him that way though because he's constantly excited and happy to see us (on skype). Today he was the exact opposite. Well, I mean he was fine but just not all smiles like usual. It makes me sad when I see him that way. It made me forget that he has "feelings" too. Not that I never take him serious or anything... just that he hardly ever shows that side of him, you know? Well, what guy does really?
I'm usually the one having the "break downs" and the dramatic cries at random times... and he's usually the one to be smiling away and trying to get me to laugh every second. Then when the tables turn, it makes me wanna be a lot stronger for him. The way he is for me. But then again, it also makes me want to not to have those "break downs" anymore. I get sad seeing him that way... I can imagine how he feels seeing me cry ugly all the time.
We don't even really know what our timeline is or what's going to happen in the next few weeks. We don't even know when we'll be able to actually see him again. Him being there is of course a good thing. Him coming home will be great for us... but probably not such a good thing as far as football is concerned. But we really can't tell what's in store right now. We just have to play the waiting game...again...like we always do.
As much as we're missing each other like crazy... we know that this is just another sacrifice we need to make...for us... for the kids. We're excited, anxious, happy, sad, lonely... just all of the above. Like I've been saying all along, it's all bitter sweet. What do you do...