...him...

Written October 10, 2010:

Lately I've been taking things as it comes... trying to anyway. There are so many things to think about, so much to do, work, kids... just everything. Healthy kids, a healthy husband... and at the same time, finding time for me. But most of all, some alone time with my husband.

We've been spending a lot of family time together... mainly because we know that everything could change in a few months. But this much togetherness has really helped me to appreciate my husband more and more.

Matt and I met in 2001 in junior high. We've been best friends ever since. We always joke that if we were never an item, we would've definitely been best friends. We've been through so much together for the past ten years. Trust me, we aren't the perfect couple (is there such a thing?) but we do try.

A good friend, whom I actually just met last week but if you sat in on a conversation you would think we were friends forever, said something to me that actually made me think twice. Hopefully she doesn't get upset that I'm mentioning it in my blog... but she said "I didn't know that a marriage took nurturing"... then she asked how long Matt and I have been together and what our secret was. I almost didn't know what to say (is that sad?!). Now, I'm not a marriage counselor or anything like that, but I can honestly say that our marriage has lasted this long because our love for each other grows more and more every day. Some days I think, "Man I love this guy!" Then on other days I cry just thinking about him because I love him so much that words couldn't even express my true feelings for this guy.

Maybe you can relate... when I was little, I would get sick all the time! Mainly because I ate so much sweets and never listened to my mom whenever she'd tell me "Don't eat that! And if you get sick later, don't come crying to me because I already told you!" LOL. (Funny, I find myself telling my kids the same thing!) But of course, I wouldn't listen and sure enough, that night I'd be crying my eye balls out as if it were the end of the world! But every time I got sick, no matter how bad it was or how much pain I was in, as long as my mom was by my side, holding me or even rubbing my head, I ALWAYS felt better. Even if she was just in the same room as me, her presence was all I needed to feel better. Know what I mean? There's a reason why I mentioned this, I promise. :)

Well, after Matt and I were dating for a while, I got really sick. Of course Mom was there but around this time, she was working. I remember being in so much pain, I couldn't do anything. Matt came over to visit me (of course because he missed me!) and all he did was hold my hand and all the pain went away for the few minutes that he was there with me. It was at that very moment that I realized, he was the next best thing to what my own mother provided for me when I was in that state. That comfort, that warm feeling of love... hopefully you don't get the wrong idea... my mother will always play that role even when I'm 90! But just having that exact same feeling with Matt, made me realize that he was the one. I tried explaining this to him once and...... he didn't really get it. LOL. But maybe it won't sound so crazy to you guys...hopefully. We've had some pretty crazy times and we still do... but I wouldn't have it any other way. He completes me. Sad to say, but before we got married, some people didn't think we'd last. We knew we loved each other, and not just puppy love, but others thought that we were just moving too fast. The only thing that was holding us back, was that Matt wanted me to have "my dream wedding". I told him that it didn't matter what we did or who showed up. As long as he was by my side on our wedding day, I'd be the happiest girl in the world.

We tied the knot on July 30th 2005 and it's been a roller coaster ride ever since..... a roller coaster ride that we still haven't gotten off of and I don't think I'll ever want to :) Having been blessed with three kids along the way just makes the ride that much better. Nana of course was a HUGE blessing. She is the main reason why our families, both Matt's and my own, are so close. Who would've thought that almost six years ago a little human being with so little strength would share so much love between two different families and bring them together. And our Fatboy... OMG! Seriously? He is a little old man trapped in a little boy's body whose just full of answers for everything and everyone! No lie. He has his oppinions and is never afraid to share it! A part of me admires him because I for one have a hard time expressing my "inner feelings"... he on the other hand just tells it like it is. Shawnee..........she is just too much, period! She is so full of energy, attitude and love all at the same time! But our household (including Grandma's and Mama's) just wouldn't be the same WITHOUT her!

People always ask if we're going to have more kids. Matt swears he's having at least eight! Ummmmm... thanks, but no thanks. :) I think I can deal with one more... in maybe five years when Shawnee will be able to change diapers for me! LOL. But I think if I ever have the chance to be a stay-home mommy full time and can afford it... I would probably have more than just one more. But we'll see! LOL.

Our lives aren't perfect but I can say that what we've accomplished so far and the people that I go home to every night are more than anything I could ask for. Especially my husband. We've been on this journey for so long that it almost feels like we haven't accomplished much but when we really take a look at things, we realize how much we've been blessed. We have our struggles and go through some hard times but at the end of the day, I still have him by my side and I absoulutely LOVE IT!