...five days in...

...and I'm still surviving. Even with all the family time and special events we had this week, I still had time to miss him. I was hoping I wouldn't, but it's normal so I don't feel too bad. When I mentioned possibly going MIA again in my last post, I was serious. A lot of the time it's just easier for me to get over it when I don't go anywhere or see anyone. But that's probably not good either.

Last week, one of my younger brothers got married. Everything turned out really good. Simple yet elegant. Well, that's what I thought at least. I LOVE weddings, probably more than I should. Just everything about it is so precious. My brother and his wife decided to get married so they could move to Arkansas together for school. My brother was offered a full ride there and they decided that they didn't want to live apart any longer so it seemed like the perfect time to start their life together.

That's exactly how Matt and I started our family together. We did the same thing. We planned our wedding in about a week, got married and left to Snow College that very next week. Funny thing is, this weekend, July 30th, just so happened to be our six year anniversary. I had it on my mind this entire month, literally. Then after he left last week, I tried not to think about it. He actually never brought it up either. Until yesterday, we skyped before we started our day and then I just said Babe, do you know what today is? I really thought he wouldn't remember... but he did. It made me smile. We talked a bit about how long we've been together... it's crazy. Ten years together, six years married. I felt happy talking about it... but then it hit me. He looked me straight in the eyes and said Happy Anniversary Baby. I could not hold it in. The tears came, the shaking lips... I don't even know why! I couldn't stop crying. Seeing his face so close but just not there... it killed me. I just couldn't handle it and I lost it. Literally.

I don't know how other couples do it. I know a few people who are living apart from their spouses, some months at a time... I know my situation probably isn't even half as complicated but I can honestly say I know how it feels. I know in the end it'll all pay off and this is just one of the many sacrifices we'll have to make for our family. I'm not complaining, I'm just venting. Like I said before, of course I don't want him to just drop everything and come back... I just wish it didn't have to be so hard. I've had the worse time sleeping since he's been gone. The days drag like no other. I don't ever feel like going anywhere because he's not home. It's sad. But we figured out how we can do our skyping sessions so last night was our first night skyping. Some will probably think it's lame but just like we did a few months ago (when he was in Cali for two months) we skype and leave it up all night. I wake up probably three or four times in the middle of the night so when I did, I at least got to see my husband sleeping next to me on our screen. He even woke me up this morning before he left... on the screen :)

I know, I'm probably making some of you sick right now but I can't help it. This guy is too much. I'm so grateful for the opportunity that he has to even be out there. To be given the chance to show them how much he's capable of taking this on. It's been his dream since he was little. We're so blessed to have come this far and we're just happy that it's even happening. This journey has also helped us realize how much love and support we have from our family and friends. How blessed we are to have the greatest support system anyone could ever ask for.

I thought about it today at church and I realized that we are truly blessed and we need to not take advantage of it. I told myself that this is where we wanted to be and together we can overcome anything. I realized that I want to make things right. Do things the right way. I want to be happy and be happy with my husband and children. My other younger brother went through the temple this weekend. He'll never know how big of an example he is to me. He's always done things "his way" growing up and never following anyone else. That's what I love about him. I'm so happy for what's in store for him and his future companion. He'll be leaving on his mission in October to Anaheim, California. He'll be the first one in our family and the second grandchild out of our immediate family to serve a mission. It'll be exciting. Just another blessing to add to the pot.

Hopefully this week will get better. I'm not expecting much but hopefully it'll go by faster than last week.  I really am fine... really. I love where we are now and what's to come. It's just the "being apart" part that I can't handle. Everyone knows wherever I go Matt goes... and vice versa. So to only see Tangi around just isn't normal. Debbie just needs a few days guys :)

...possibly mia again??

Yesterday, probably within less than two hours, we made our first decision towards what we've been striving for all these years. Matt got a call from the Minnesota Vikings offering him a chance to come out for training camp that starts next week. It was one of thee most greatest moments that we'll never forget. Funny thing is, it didn't really hit us until later that night. We didn't get to bed until almost 3am last night!

We were all smiles ever since. Even this morning as I was leaving for work, I woke up with a huge smile on my face and I just watched him sleep for a minute. I seriously couldn't be more happy for him right now. After the three months apart, sleepless nights, rough days after the draft... he never gave up and I never gave up on him. I've never wanted anything so bad for someone in my life. I just know what he's capable of and how hard he's worked to get where he is. After the draft, it literally broke my heart that he didn't get drafted. It was really hard for me to talk about it with him without crying about it... which didn't help at all because I'm suppose to be the strong one. I was suppose to be his supporter. I can't be balling my eyes out if I'm suppose to be his supporter. How the heck would that work?! It was rough. But after that happened, it brought us that much closer. He spent so much time with the kids and he loved every second of it. I loved coming home to him everyday after not having him home for three months prior to that. It's just the greatest feeling ever. I've always said it's the little things that count and they should never be taken for granted and it's so true. The simplest things... fixing the bed in the morning, picking me up after work, sending me random text messages throughout the day, surprise lunch dates... I can never get sick of it.

This morning I ran back in the house to grab something I forgot and when I walked back into our room, Matt was up. He said I just texted you... they want me there today. Today??? Today as in like within the next twelve hours today?! Ugh. Suck.

I mean duh we knew this would happen but it all just happened so quick, literally. We knew we would be apart for a few weeks... if the lockout ended sooner we would've been apart for months... but for some reason this time seems harder than the last. It didn't hit me until I took him to the airport that he wasn't gonna be home tonight. That he wasn't just gonna be gone for a few hours... he was gonna be gone for a few weeks. I hate it. I hate being apart. I feel like a part of me is gone when he's not around. It might sound cheesy but it's true. He's like my twin. I just don't feel the same when he's not around. I know you probably think I'm crazy and a bit obsessive but I'm being serious. Being apart is so hard and we both can't handle it.

I'm literally tearing up just talking about this. He called earlier and my mom talked to him because she didn't get to see him before he left. How about I had to hold back my ugly cry just from hearing her tell him that we'll be okay and he needs to do what he needs to do to get our family started. Seriously. You would think I was pregnant or something the way I've been almost crying whenever I hear anyone talk about him.

I can't promise I won't be a Debbie Downer but like I mentioned before, I need to be strong, for him. I want to be. If I'm not okay, the kids won't be okay and then Matt won't be okay because he'll be too busy worrying about us. I can't let that happen. Of course I love that things are working out and I wouldn't want him to give any of it up just because I miss him. That's dumb. LOL. I'm just being honest. It'll be hard. I miss him already and we've only been apart for ten hours.

No Skype this time. This'll be awesome. Good thing, there are ten flights a day and it's only a two hour flight... not that I've already looked it up or anything.

Oh Lord... give me strength to get through these next few weeks and be the best supporter, wife and friend to my wonderful husband and children.

...brace yourself...

Okay so we've been back from our Vegas vacation for forever now and it's taking me how long to get this blog up and done. First I was so excited to take all these pictures while we were out there... then the whole time we were there I'd think of things or we'd run into some random situation and I'd think 'I should remember to mention this in my blog'... only because they were literally random thoughts and I figured it be some good reading for some people. Random I know. But anyways so let's see if I can remember those "moments" and hopefully have some pictures to go with it.

So the drive wasn't too bad after all. Most of the drive there consisted of lots of singing, junk food, singing, pictures, singing and singing. I never noticed how beautiful Utah was. Literally. And even after all that singing, my husband and I still suck at it.

I think I only slept once the whole way there. Oh... and I forgot to mention... we ended up with some company on our trip. Our oldest son Shawn came with us. LOL. Yea, Matt's younger brother. We always joke that he's our oldest because he literally does everything and goes everywhere with us. Literally. Since forever. When Matt was going to school at Snow so did Shawn and he lived with us... for two years.

After that we moved back home and so did he... and where was he most of the time? Our house. Then Matt went to the U. So did Shawn. Every morning practice, carpooling, games, bowlgame trips... us and Shawn. I don't mind at all because he's like a brother to me... but I don't think you understand how "attached at the hip" these two boys are. But it was good company though. He seriously keeps us entertained. Laughing, singing, clown'in... everything. But he's never considered a third wheel to us (is that weird?!) and plus they just had a cousin move down from Alaska that week so he came along too! LOL. Um. Yea. Vegas Party of Four. I didn't mind too much though... it was still fun :)

So as soon as we got there we did TONZ of walking!! Like... I've never walked so much in my life! I swear I had thee buff-est calves by the end of our trip! We walked everywhere and anywhere... and I didn't get as dark as I thought I would, thank god! During all the walking there was nothing but half naked people walking around. Someone forgot to tell me that it was okay to wear my bikini wherever I wanted down there. Gross. I guess it would've been a good idea since between stores and hotels we were walking, sweating, drying off... walking, sweating, drying off. I swear we all probably lost ten pounds from just that. 

You already know where my first stop was... MMMMHMMMM... H&M was gonna get it! :)

This one was right across the street from where we were staying. Funny thing is... I went to two H&M's and the first one was a smaller one... how bout it took me only about a half hour to find a lot of really cute stuffin this one. I literally went in, front to back ONCE and found exactly what I wanted. The other H&M... oh my hell... Matt wanted to kill me... we were there for maybe an hour or longer and I came out with one freakin shirt. Um. Yea. But look at how big it was... It was three stories!!! Yea, it was too much for me. 

***Okay, so I started this blog almost three weeks ago and this is seriously how far I've gotten. So instead of typing... I'm posting most of the pictures with captions*** 

 

...us outside of Mile Shop...

 ...Matt's best friend Charles (bottom right) playing... can you believe he does this for fun almost every weekend?! Well, he's Asian so I guess you could believe it LOL...

...some buff guy that kept following me around Vegas =)...

...I didn't buy any but I was tempted...

...you already know...

...I seriously fell in love with them and I had to...

...M&M Store...

...out of all the things to eat, we ate Panda our first day there... yup, we would...

...you'll probably think we're hecka slow but seriously we couldn't figure out how these people made a living doing this until I asked Batman for a picture while shopping and I heard him say "Sure, we'll just talk tips later." Ummmm... what did he just say?!?!? LOL. So with that, we only got a picture with Michael the whole time we were there... and no we didn't even give Michael a tip! I know I felt bad... LOL

...I wouldn't have it any other way...

...SHE.WAS.AMAZING...

...we were this close... it was freakin' AWESOME!!...

Thanks for the best surprise ever Niia. I loved every second with you. The entire weekend was just perfect. From beginning til the end. I wouldn't want to share this weekend with anyone else but you. Thanks for spoiling me. I still don't know what I did to deserve you but I do know that I'm very blessed to have you as my husband and my best friend. I love you Babe...

...are you kidding me?!?...

So... last night Matt texted me after getting off from work and said: "Okaaaaay someone straight took one headlight from the car...the right side." Then I was like... WTH! Like just took the headlight?! And he's like Uh, yea! The WHOLE THING.

[Side Note: You know those movies where the airheads start talking and saying... and he was like OMG and I like OMG and then he was like WTH and then I was like WTH!... I feel like I'm that airhead talking when I try to reiterate any of our stories... just an FYI. So if you noticed that too just keep it to yourself because I've already acknowledged it LOL

At first I thought... maybe someone hit our car and it came off? Nope, I parked facing the building. Um. Okay. Aftermath:

WTH!!! Are you kidding me?!?!? Okay first of all... when did people start jacking headlights?!? And not just the light... the WHOLE THING! It seriously looks like a professional headlight-jacker did it too! I'm not even kidding! If you look closely you can see a black scratch mark on the right side. They straight popped the cover right off, unscrewed the bulb from the wire (that's hanging very nicely inside still) and took it! I mean, REALLY?!?!?! Either someone desparately needed a freakin headlight... and not JUST the bulb, the cover too!!!... or there's some serious headlight dealing that we need to uncover because who the hell steals fuh'reakin HEADLIGHTS!!! And I'm sorry but if you're gonna steal ONE of them... wouldn't you just steal BOTH so that whatever car you're gonna put it on at least has a matching headlight?!?! I mean really. They might as well have taken that outside light too! And the brake lights on the back so their car at least has some new lights all the way around!

I seriously can't get over it. People are soooooo desparate now days... they go as far as jacking headlights. HEADLIGHTS PEOPLE!!!

...I felt that I had to document this and Matt posting a picture of it on FB just wasn't enough. I could probably go on about how idiotic this person is but I'm not going to. And I know I have A LOT of updating to do from our VEGAS trip... I've just been busy, sick, lazy and.... lazy. LOL. But I'll have it up before the end of the week for sure. Can't wait to tell you guys all about it :)