...I'm Obivously Superwoman...

When I say I'm Superwoman I'm referring to what my kids think I am.

I mean most days I probably am. 

But I'm sure I have more days when I'm not.

I can handle a lot of things...I think...

But some things I just can't.

But I'm definitely one of those people that keep things inside...

I thought everyone was like that but apparently I'm pretty good at it.

I've always been able to hold my own...

More like keep it together I should say.

But these last few years have been a challenge.

I've had my breaking points more often than not.

My kids keep me on my toes but at the same time test me daily.

I know they're my biggest blessings but I sometimes think 

the Lord doesn't realize how much I can actually handle.

But at the end of the day I realize that this is my purpose in life.

If there's anything I'm good it it's being a dayum good mother.

Yes I'm patting myself on the back...judge me.

But ask me on a bad day and I'd probably say otherwise.

I've had two babies in less than 12 months. 

Yup, I'm that girl.

I would always make fun of my friends or cousins that had babies so close together.

Like why would you put yourself through that.

Oh I don't know let's try it shall we?!

And here we are.

Ha.

That's what I get. 

But seriously, I wanted to stab my husband when it happened. 

My pregnancy was so bad with my fourth that I couldn't even leave my bed.

I'd try to go from my bed to the bathroom and would feel like death.

That lasted for almost six months.

Yea...why anyone would wanna get pregnant again after that I do not know.

But of course it paid off in the end...

It paid off to fix my hair that day cuz that's all I had going for me that night.

Oh and those sweet cheeks...not my husbands, the baby.

He was perfect.

Okay side note: Again, this one was my hardest pregnancy and although he was perfectly healthy in every way he was not my easiest baby. He was a colic baby. And yes everyone has their own issues some more serious than others and I realize that mine isn't even unbearable but to each his own so just feel sorry for me okay?! After the rough pregnancy came the sleepless nights - literally, every hour of a crying baby - nursing fails, hold-me-every-second-of-life for two months type of crying. I kept telling myself that I was good and didn't need anymore kids. Three was perfect...four was pushing it. 

The day I found out I was pregnant again I about died. Twice.

I cried all morning in my room.

Didn't even tell my husband until later that night.

He had the biggest smile on his face when he saw the test.

Before he could even turn around I was already crying again.

Fast forward eleven months and here I am...

Raising five beautiful children.

Most days I don't fix my hair or fill my eyebrows in...

Which are days I cross my fingers none of the neighbors show up...

Some days I don't even get out of my pajamas...

One time a neighbor did show up and I didn't even answer the door cuz I was in a lava lava...

But they think Mom can do anything and everything...

No matter what I'm wearing or what I look like...

Except somedays Shawnee's like Really Mom?!

Everyone who knows Shawnee knows what I have to deal with...

I don't know how my mom did it with all six of us kids...

Three of which were all a year apart...

I don't know how people do it with twins either...

Mine are Irish twins and if they were born at the same time...

I could not even...

But I know they are my biggest blessings. 

They have taught me how to love more than I've ever loved before.

They show me how easy it can be to forgive...

How simple things can be if I just let it...

They've taught me how to live a little and enjoy everything...

But they've also showed me what's like to not have a voice for three months too...

Yea, I'm one of those moms...

But to them I'm still perfect...

And honestly Superwoman is the only thing that comes to mind 

When I ask myself what my kids think I am...

So this is what the purpose of my blog is...

Explain my life as some people would say...

Complain about my husband...

Passively so it doesn't seem like I'm actually complaining about him but I am...

Vent about my days where I lose it and I'm a witch all day...

Because seriously being perfect every day is just too much work...

And just random stuff I guess... 

I don't even know if people read blogs anymore but I feel like this is my only option that will let me get it out and not judge me or tell what I already know I need to do.

So...here's to motherhood and being Superwoman.

...new beginnings...

A TON has happened since my last blog what, four months ago probably?! Um, yea... does anyone ever REALLY stay up to date with a blog nowadays though, really. I mean, with Facebook and Instagram you pretty much know what everyone's doing every waking minute of the day. Gotta love technology!

If I were to go into detail about the few events that have happened these last few weeks this blog would never end. I can't even begin to explain how happy and grateful I am at this very moment.

Things happened so slow yet so fast this last year. One week my husband is living out of a hotel room working his butt off for a job that he's always dreamed of his entire life. The next, I'm flying to Minnesota to visit and he surprises me with a home for our little family. Of course we're not making it permanent ((Utah will ALWAYS be our home)) but we're gonna make the most of this journey TOGETHER.

The separation was a good growing experience for our family but I would never wish that style of living on anyone. Of course everyone has their own reasons so don't get me wrong but for me... it was the hardest thing. 

Mainly because my husband was miles away, working harder than he ever has in his entire life, basically starting to live the life he's always dreamed of... and we weren't there to share it with him. 

Yea the kids and I were happy, healthy, taken care of while he was there... but it just wasn't the same. 

He had no one to come home to. He didn't have a house full of noisy kids and son to play xbox with. He didn't have a wife to come home to or his daughters around to spoil.

Anyone who knows my husband KNOWS that he's all about family. About our kids, our siblings, our parents. They mean everything to him. To be so close to what you've been working towards all these years and have no one to come home to at the end of the day wasn't part of the dream. We've gone a whole year apart and I'm so thankful that it was a GREAT year. We're just ready to be together again and start a new beginning in Minnesota with the kids and reap these blessings together. 

The NFL life is definitely different from what people only see on Sundays. I'm so thankful for a hard working husband who has truly taught me that you can DREAM BIG and MAKE it happen. 

Whatever happens, happens.  Things aren't always set in stone in this life we chose but we will live it together as a family and take it one day at a time. 

...right now...

Right now...

I have a million and one things going through my head and I don't even know why.

Well, I do but not really.

You know that feeling you get when you're antsy and worried at the same time?!

Like you're getting ready to do something but then you feel like you're forgetting something...

Like you're about to do something amazing...

But at the same time you're not.

Almost like you're getting ready for a BIG day... filled with nothing..

Like there's a huge weight lifted off my shoulders...

But there's a pit still sitting at the bottom of my stomach.

Does that make sense?!

I don't know how to explain it... but that was kind of my explanation.

Yes, that's how my brain works.

Which is why I can never really explain anything.

I know it's pretty sad.

But I'm still functional!

You wouldn't even be able to tell if you were to look at me.

Or can you?!

That'd be pretty funny if you could... then I'd just look LOST all the time.

Long story short...the separation paid off.

All the hours, days, weeks, months spent away from each other has made it worth every second.

My husband made the Vikings roster.

We never talk about it unless it's brought up by an inquiring mind (just because)

but I figured since I blogged before about writing down our experiences through the process

I might as well share this now, right?!

We're rookies still new to "this life" but one things for sure...

We know the majority of it will be spent the same way it has been since April...

Apart.

But here's where my brain starts to lose it.

Anyone who knows my husband and I knows that we're attached at the hip.

Literally.

It's always been that way.

Tangi & Matt. Matt & Tangi.

You ask for one, you get both.

That's just the way it's always been...

and because we're cool like that.

Not really, but really.

So you can imagine what all this time apart has done to us.

Nothing has changed really, except for the fact that he stays in everyday after work...

((we can officially say that football is WORK. It still amazes me that someone can do what they LOVE - like playing football - and call it a J.O.B. and get paid for it. Amazing how that works))

and I pretty much stay within my boundaries...

Home.Work.Golds.Home.Work.

((and yes I said GOLDS because I've been milking our rip-off plan of $65 a month for the both of us...oh and cuz I wanna workout too I guess. Everyone's doing it))

Yup - it's pretty amazing.

The problem...might not even be a problem to some people.

And it really isn't a "problem" it's just...

There.

Yea, it's not a problem.

The NFL is a very cut-throat business.

Anything can happen.

What HAS happened is one of our greatest blessings...

But what's TO COME is what is holding us back.

We want our family to be together.

We wanna come home at the end of the day and have someone to come home to.

We wanna enjoy being with our children.

We wanna reap the joys of parenthood together.

But we know that right now...

We can't.

We have to think about what's best for our family.

Our kids.

Our marriage.

Our future.

Everything.

Which would mean...

We'll still be living apart for the next few months.

Of course we wish things could be easier...doesn't everyone?!

What I do know...is that I wouldn't trade any of this for the world.

It's been a long road leading up to this point and there's nothing that will stop us.

This post is not a Debbie Downer post... I'm simply just typing what's on my mind.

Am I sad? Mad? Angry?

HECK NO!

I'm SO EXCITED for what lies ahead, you have NO.I.DEA.

The mixed feelings and all that other craziness is just...life.

When I stress, I stress hard. Why? I have no idea.

But when I really think about it... why stress?!

It's not gonna do me any good.

I need to keep my head up and STAY positive.

I've been trying to live this way for a while and I really am seeing a difference in just everything.

My husband reminds me every morning...

to make it a GREAT and POSITIVE day no matter what.

You would think I would need to be the one telling him that

Since his day is more stressful than mine I'm sure...

But that's what I love about him.

I honestly would not be the person I am today without him.

So for now...

I'm just gonna keep being AMAZING and just go with it.

...change it up or just being me...

So... I've been following this blog and I sometimes find myself reading for hours... I mean really, not stalkerish at all but I can't help it. I can't remember how I came across it but I'm so glad I did. Anyway, the reason I bring it up is because I've come up with a few ideas, scenarios, thoughts, just random stuff that I wanna start blogging about. The first thing I loved about her blog is that she's so honest.

When I first started  blogging I was having a hard time with it because I just didn't know what to blog about. There's the everyday updates, venting posts, pictures, etc. I was told that I blog the same way I talk which is good I guess, right?! But I feel like the posts are just the same'o thing. I mean really. I don't know if people just don't read blogs anymore or what but I feel like it's really just because my blogs are boring - and NO I'm not looking for compliments or any of that crap, I'm just being honest. Plus with all the APPS we have now...Facebook, Instagram, Facebook, Instagram (the Asiata's are NOT a fan of TWITTER but can you tell what we ARE a fan of?!)...who blogs now days anyway right?! WRONG!! I LOVE reading blogs...I actually like writing them too but I just never seem to end up POSTING them. I still have like fifty editing posts just sitting, waiting to be posted. But who cares anyway right?!

So anyway...I'm gonna just run with it. If you like it, great. If you don't, suck it. Read that blog though...trust me, she's worth following. She has an AMAZING weight loss story and the rest of her posts are just hilarious! I would totally do Q&A if I had enough followers to do something like that. Ha!

...something in the water...

Over two months of no blogging?! That's pretty lame. Not that anything too exciting has happened lately but I really have been meaning to blog... a few times actually but I just never ended up doing it. I know, I'm freak'in awesome.

So the latest news... pretty much everyone I know is pregnant. Okay I'm being dramatic... not everyone, just a few people that I know. But still, it's pretty much everyone!! LOL My aunt just had a baby boy last week. She hasn't updated her blog in a while but you can read some of her stories here. He was two weeks early so he made it to his own baby shower. He is just too adorable.

A couple weeks ago, we found out that my cousin Leta (who is practically my sister who's marrying my brother in law in a week so she'll technically be a sister-in-law too I guess) is expecting! They're having a baby girl in July. Matt's birthday is in July so we're hoping she comes on his birthday. Oh, and he's convinced they're gonna name her Matty... ummm, yea. That was the FIRST exciting baby news we got.

Then just two days ago, we found out that my younger sister is expecting too!! Two babies in a few months, can you believe it?!?!?! She's due in November... and guess who's birthday is in November!!! LOL Yup! We're hoping she (yes, I'm calling her baby a SHE because I'm hoping it's a girl) comes on the 23rd so she can be born on thee greatest day of the year... my day of birth of course! LOL. Oh, and maybe, just maybe they'll name her after ME! Hahahaha. Wishful thinking!

Oh, it doesn't stop there!! Yesterday I found out that my other cousin and his wife are expecting too! (By this time I was DYING from knowing how many people are pregnant right now) Really?!?!? There HAS TO BE something in the water right?!?! Oh, but of course before I come on to blog, I was reading my dashboard and another friend of mine is pregnant too!!

Okay seriously... it's too much. I don't know if I've mentioned this in my previous blogs but I've been extremely baby hungry... like for the past few months. But Matt and I talked about it and we agreed that we should wait a few more months... maybe another year. Our baby will be 4 this year... she's practically 8 (no really, she swears she is)!! Nana asked Santa for a baby this past Christmas and Fatboy says he wants a brother. All three of them go nuts when they're around babies. Every month I try to convince myself that I just might be pregnant because I've gained a bit of weight... then that time of the month comes and I'm like FRRRIIIICCKKK well there goes that excuse for weight gain!

But when we found out about the first two pregnancies (my cousin and my sister), I was telling Matt... maybe this is "our baby"... the new addition to our family and a baby for us, but not for us you know?! Like the Lord knows we're not ready yet so he sent our family a baby to fill that little baby craving I'm having. But last week, my brother who's on his mission wrote and was telling me that I should have another baby. At first it caught me off guard because I never told him about my baby cravings or anything else. But I just wrote him and told him about our feelings and our plan and just left it at that. Well, now that everyone else is having a baby this year... I now feel the opposite. Like maybe it might be a good time for us to get pregnant. I know, it's crazy. I don't know what I'm thinking really.

As much as I want to fill that baby craving of mine... I know it'll happen when the time is right. I mean, we are kinda preventing pregnancy right now so I don't know why I keep thinking I am when I know I can't be.  Until that day comes, we're gonna enjoy what's to come and reap EVERY SECOND with these new additions. It's so exciting because now my kids will actually have cousins and not be the only grandkids within our immediate family. For six years my kids have been the only grandkids on both mine and Matt's side. After this year... they'll have two other cousins they'll share their grandparents with.

I would say our year is off to a pretty good start don't you think?!

...2012...

So...hopefully this year is better than last. Our year started off pretty well in 2011... maybe the first three months of it. Things just kinda got rough as the year went on. I'm not complaining though...what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. And so here I am...stronger. Or at least I think I am.

This year we're hoping and praying for something good...something better. But...like I've said before...things happen for a reason so whatever happens, happens. We tend to take the long way when doing things in life...but we won't get into that because I'm pretty sure this will end up being a novel if I do.

So far, a lot has happened within the first twenty-two days of the new year...

We celebrated New Year's Eve at our ward dinner/dance. The kids had so much fun! We really love our new ward. We're hoping for a calling soon. Is that weird?! LOL 

Thanks to a few great friends/mentors Matt and I were able to go to the LAKERS game when they played the Utah Jazz here in Salt Lake. This guy was smiling from ear to ear ALL.DAY. Like really. He  LOVES the Lakers...for as long as I can remember. It was so fun! We had some great seats too! We tried to get Kobe's attention after the game...yup, 'cuz we're cool like that! But...nothing happened. Haha.

On January 14th, my little sister got married. Yup, MARRIED! Doesn't she look gorgeous?!? My mom and I threw her a little bridal shower the week before. It was perfect. I'm pretty good... I mean, WE... we're pretty good. Haha. We had tons of family and friends there to help celebrate her special day. I was so happy for her. It's still hard to believe how grown up she and the rest of my siblings are getting. Like, really. I'm so happy for her and all that's to come. I wish her nothing but the best for this new chapter in her life. I kinda feel like we've grown a lot closer than before. Which is a good thing. I wasn't the best sister growing up but now that I'm older, I feel like these are the times when I actually need a sister and need to be a sister, you know? Does that sound a bit crazy?! Regardless, I'm excited for what the new year will bring her.

On January 22nd... Ioana-Fualole Tangiofakihinano Ku'uleialoha Atiga-Asiata turned seven. SEVEN!! I can't believe how old she's getting. We definitely had a fun-filled weekend for her. Her last birthday, we had a sleepover with about eight girls. I vowed never to do that again. But this year, she asked to do it again. OMG was all that came to mind. But I figured, since she and her friends are a bit older, it wouldn't be so bad. So, sleepover it was. We had about fourteen kids over on Friday night. Yes, fourteen. But because I have thee most awesome family EVER...everything was easy breezy. The girls had tons of fun! We did make-up, hair, nails, games, movies...even a little camp out for them in our livingroom. My mom even came over the next morning and made a heavy breakfast for everyone! The party was suppose to end around noon on Saturday morning...ummm...I think the house finally emptied out at around 8 that night! As noisy as it was on those two days...Matt and I were just happy knowing that Nana had a great time with some of her closest friends and family. Oh, and yes that's her Dad in those pictures playing make-up with the girls. They all raided him as soon as he sat down. Blush, eye shadow, bronzer, mascara....the whole works! Not to mention, while painting his face they all were singing at the top of their lungs to Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. Yup, so was Matt. LOL

The rest of this year...I'm praying will be better than last year. The latest news...Matt will be leaving to Minnesota again in April. He signed on with them earlier this month...another exciting day for us of course. It hasn't hit home yet because he's still around and won't leave for a few more weeks. Trust me, we're soaking up every second we can. We're hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. I've been slacking on the blog updates but I'm sure when he leaves I'll be on here every week like I was last year when he was gone.

We'll see what 2012 has in store for us. Whatever it may be, we're ready. We're getting back on track this year. Like literally, back on track. Bring it on 2012...

...our christmas...

...was PERFECT!

Happy Holidays - Love the Asiata's